Saying fine doesn’t always mean fine

Honor Swan, Staff Writer

I am fine; I am fine. I keep telling myself hoping that one day I will believe myself. It is hard to feel like you have no one that understands what you are trying to say, and that is how I felt during my small depression just a year ago.

I didn’t even want to get up and do anything, but I still had to get up and go to school and put on a fake smile. That way no one saw the sadness in my eyes. It was torture to sit in class knowing that everyone else around me was happy, and I was far from that feeling.

Almost everyone has felt depressed at some point in their lives, but there is a difference between feeling depressed and clinical depression. Clinical depression is when you feel like you are living in a black hole that you cannot get out of no matter how hard you try. No matter what you are doing, you cannot escape your unhappiness that you are feeling.

Depression is something that used to be thought of as just something that adults could get, but over the past years, teenage depression rates have gone up. Twenty percent of teens will experience some kind of depression before they even get to their adult lives.

This is not a topic that should be taken lightly. Sometimes it is hard to see all of the signs in a teenager because most people think that teens are moody. Teens with depression usually have symptoms such as poor performance in school, withdrawal from friends and activities, sadness and hopelessness, lack of motivation, anger, overreactions to criticism, poor self-esteem, and even suicidal thoughts and actions.

After a month of trying to figure out what I could do to help myself, one of my friends finally realized that I was not acting like myself. She asked me a million different questions, and I had no answers for any of them.

Then my parents started to notice a difference in the way I was acting and started asking the same kind of questions like “Why are you acting like this? What is happening at school to make you act this way?” and all I could say was I did not know.

I listened to countless different pieces of music because that is the only thing that makes me feel like I have a voice, and one-day things started looking up. I had a great day at school for once and felt like I could do anything.

I got home that Friday afternoon and started dancing and singing. That was the first time that I had a smile on my face in what felt like months. This was one of the best days of my life because I felt like I finally had my life back.

Whether you are the 60% that don’t get treated or the 40% that does get treated, it will always get better at some point. It is possible to get out of depression; you have to keep trying until you succeed.